What Goes Around, Comes Around (especially for a smartass)

SPOILER ALERT: I can be a bit of a smartass.

And (to likely the shock of no one in my life), it's coming back to bite me.

See, in our family, when a kid trips, or falls, or, in general, "bonks" as kids do, the typical response is the adult "on duty" throws their arms out like an umpire calling a play at the plate and yells, "SAFE!".

My dad did it. My mom did it. I do it.

Well, as a parent, I have taken liberties with this particular tactic, and have tweaked it a bit while applying it to other areas. Instead of following the kids around and freaking out at what can, at times, appear like their best attempts to end their own lives (think aerials off furniture or play sets), I have a set of (smartassish) questions I ask depending on the situation. The questions look and sound a lot like these:

"Hey, Princess, when you fall and whack your head on that pile of stuff you insist of jumping over, instead of walking around, what color band-aid do you want on the stitches?"

OR ...

"Little Man, I KNOW I've told you that it's NOT a good idea to jump from the chair to the couch - so, when you fall and hurt yourself, how many stitches do you think it'll take to fix?"

There are other variations, but you get the idea, yes?

So imagine my surprise this evening when, after going potty before bedtime, Little Man thinks the best course of action is to hop, yes HOP, with shoes on and pants down around his ankles, from the bathroom to his bedroom. Because, well, ya know, what with all the corners and doorways and all, what could possibly go wrong?

So, as he hops on by and the visual sinks in (with me), I shout, "DUDE!?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" And then I pause, and begin to say, "Hey, question for ya ..." but I am almost immediately interrupted.
His curly little head pops out of his room and he peers down the hallway at me. Then, he actually rolled his eyes while uttering, "I know. I know. I KNOW! I shouldn't do that. Sorry. Oh, and, if I fell, it would only take 1 stitch, but LOTS of band aids. And, I'd like orange ones."

He's four. And, I am in SO. MUCH. TROUBLE.

All this time, I thought they were ignoring me ...

What's that saying: "Do as I say, not as I do"? ... Yeah, well, I've decided that saying ... can bite me.