Pixar, a penis and a Big Woody.

The headline alone is enough to get ya here, yes?

Toy Story 3 is ALL THE RAGE at our house. Both Princess and Little Man waited, patiently, for its release. Little Man has seen it 3 times already - and all of them in 3D.

Our house has been overrun with action figures from the movie. And, in ALL shapes and sizes.

(Truth be told - I blame Oma! She started this circus...)

It began with an innocent Buzz Lightyear and Woody purchase. For each child.

Then, Hubby got roped in to buying "Big Buzz" (literally 3 times the size of the Buzz we ALREADY owned) for Little Man. Sucker.

Princess, never a big fan of watching little brother getting something cool, roped hubby in to a Jessie purchase a few days later. (I began to threaten Hubby at this point)

Oh, and did I mention that ALL THESE FRIGGIN TOYS TALK????

I was now living in Pixar hell!

Before I knew it, we had a GIANT Rex, another friggin' talking Jessie, a little Bullseye and Jessie set (which DIDN'T TALK, thus immediately becoming MY favorite), and two talking Rex flashlight things.

** Important Side Note: Little Man is not yet potty trained. He turned three in April and has NO DESIRE. At all. (Don't tell our family doc - he'll kick my ass for not forcing this more.) Anyway, as every parent knows - potty training is all about control. And we know, the kids have it ALL with respect to all things potty. Trick is, we can't let them know we know, ya know? All parents also know that BRIBERY works wonders when potty training.

At some point, Little Man decided that since he had a "Big Buzz" he needed ... wait for it ... a "Big Woody". In fact, on a recent trip to Target, he was marching up and down the aisles announcing (at a volume suitable for rock concerts), "I NEED A BIG WOODY!! I WANT A BIG WOODY"

Shushing him didn't work. Nor did the giggling passers-by.

So, as a way of introducing, once again, the whole potty concept, we told Little Man that he could have a "Woody and a Bullseye" set when he actually went pee-pee on the potty.

Nothing. Not even so much as an attempt.

Princess was far easier to potty train - once she realized it didn't really matter to us if she went in a diaper or on the potty (yes, MAJOR acting awards to Hubby and me), she decided the potty was better.

Little Man, however, stubborn as a MULE.

And then, last night, it happened.

We were at a birthday party for another beautiful princess. She turned 4 - and one of her gifts was a GIANT Jessie and Bullseye set. You should have SEEN Little Man's eyes. I think, initially, he was more excited to play with it than she was!

The whole ride home, all he could talk about was getting his own "Big Woody and Bullseye". So, he was again reminded that such a purchase could be his for the low, low price of USING THE POTTY INSTEAD OF A DIAPER!!!!!!

He went to bed talking about it.

He woke up talking about it.

He talked about it the whole way to church.

When I picked him up from the 3 year old room at church, they handed me the diaper I had dropped off with him, and said, "He didn't need this - he went on the potty."

I was stunned.

I stood there, staring at this woman in disbelief. My chin had to have been on the floor.

I said, "Huh? He did? Are you sure?"

She looked at me like I was asking a ridiculous question, so I quickly clarified, "He's not potty trained. He refuses to go."

She looked at me and said, "Well, ok - but - um - yeah, he went."

At that point, Little Man spotted me and came FLYING across the room screaming, "MOMMY I WENT PEE PEE ON THE POTTY!!!! I CAN HAVE A BIG WOODY NOW!!!"

In church. Awesome.

Once again, the "adults" were highly amused. Juveniles.

We found Big Woody & Bullseye. Little Man was in HEAVEN.

**************

When I woke Little Man up from his nap - his diaper was dry.

I whisked him into the bathroom - shed the clothes and diaper, and plopped him on the potty - with his Big Woody (the toy) - and waited.

And waited.

AND. WAITED.

Nothing.

After trying all the potties in the house and offering up M&Ms or Tootsie Rolls as incentives, I said, "Well, ok then, if you don't go on the potty, I'll take Big Woody and put him away and you can have him back when you go again."

He went on the potty five more times today after that.

Even asked if we could go get him some "Big Boy" underwear - like daddy.

So, we did. Guess what kind?

Yep - TOY STORY.

And, his favorite pair?

Yep - WOODY.

I think I might seriously hate Pixar.