Oy with the "F" Word

WARNING: If you are offended by THE four letter "F" word, you should probably skip this post. Just to be clear, it's not used in anger, but used nonetheless. And there's no substituting another word - the "F" word IS the story ...

OK, so, every parent knows that there is almost no greater feeling than the one(s) experienced when your child learns something new. Especially when that something new also happens to be useful (because figuring out that peas DO in fact fit in nostrils, or that pencil erasers DO in fact fit in ear cavities -- while "entertaining", are not altogether "useful"...).

Little Man, who will be three in April, already knows his letters. All of them. And lately, one of his favorite activities is to randomly spell words he sees. For instance, when we are driving, he spells words he sees on signs (if we are stopped), or on cars near us. Walking out of a restaurant recently, he said "O-P-E-N". It was the first time he'd ever done it, and I got so excited that the whole ride home we spelled, and then said, "O-P-E-N ... OPEN".

Since then, every time he spells a word that he sees, I get all excited (which he LOVES), tell him what the word is, and then repeat the spelling, and the word two or three times. It's a game, and he loves it.

(Any idea where this is headed? Yeah, buckle up.)

So, yesterday, Little Man was sitting next to me as I typed an email. A very short email reply that said, (LANGUAGE ALERT) "fuck you".

Even if I had realized that he was looking at the screen AND in the mood for his new "game", there's a 50-50 chance he picks the word "you", right?

Yeah, not so much.

So, in his cute little voice comes this, "F-U-C-K".

I froze.

And he looked at me, waiting for our little game to start.

Now, in my head, I was in fact repeating the word - MULTIPLE TIMES - but thankfully, my mouth fell silent.

Still frozen, and speechless, Little Man says, "What dat word mommy?"

(The word repetition in my head got faster, more fever-pitched and louder.)

Knowing that he is not yet to the point of remembering how to spell words, I could have come up with ANY, more acceptable, four letter F word: frog, four, feel -- hell, even fart. But did I? No, of course not.

No, instead, this occasional quick-on-her-feet mom was in panic mode -- and instead of using ANY of the words listed above, the only word that popped into my head, and thus shot outta my mouth like the cork out of a champagne bottle was .....

"DANGER"

No shit. Danger.

I guess that Mother of the Year Award will have to wait another year. Again.

Crap.